If there's one fact that we all know, nobody is perfect, we're all human beings and we don't always do the right thing, no matter how hard we try to. We make mistakes and sometimes, we make mistakes that affect and hurt our loved ones. In the way we act or in the words we speak, we may unintentionally hurt our loved ones. This doesn't make us bad and it doesn't mean we don't deserve to be happy, it only means we are human.
Relationships are quite frankly a paradox, they lead to the greatest happiness and also to the most terrible heartaches.
When we do things or say things that hurt our partners, we cause them terrible heartaches, these heartaches are consuming and a very serious burden to bear and could lead to unexpected reactions from them. It doesn't mean they don't love you anymore or that your relationship is doomed but you cannot ignore the fact that your partner feels wounded and vulnerable and worst of all, this feeling is being caused by someone he/she loves. The simple truth is that you have to fix it, you have to help your partner to heal and come back to you. The difficulty of this task varies, depending on what has caused this heartache, but the concept itself is straightforward.
The first step is to apologize, as much as you need to, until your partner knows that you are sorry. This will help your partner understand that you accept your fault and you want to make it right by them. Now, many stop here and assume all will be fine, but I don't agree, A wound doesn't get healed just because you apologize, you need to tend to it.
To start the healing process, sit down with your partner and let them express themselves, tell you how they fell, talking about it with you will really speed up the healing process, but please note, they aren't telling you for telling sake, they are telling you so that you listen and understand their feelings. This will really help in rebuilding any connection that may have been severed. It is then up to you to ensure you avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
As a catalyst to the healing process, you could do something for your partner, give them a gift, take them on a date, do their chores for some time, anything! This communicates to your partner that you care and you really want to make things right.
The last part is not easy, because it requires patience and humility on your part, you have to wait, wait for your partner to make the choice to forgive you and move on, to let go of the negative feelings and move forward. This must not be forced, they have to make the choice to do this, because that is the only way you are sure that the healing is complete.
I hope this makes sense to somebody and I hope it will be of help.
T.I.L
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