A Successful Relationship: Healing Heartaches- Part 1

If there's one fact that we all know, nobody is perfect, we're all human beings and we don't always do the right thing, no matter how hard we try to. We make mistakes and sometimes, we make mistakes that affect and hurt our loved ones. In the way we act or in the words we speak, we may unintentionally hurt our loved ones. This doesn't make us bad and it doesn't mean we don't deserve to be happy, it only means we are human.
Relationships are quite frankly a paradox, they lead to the greatest happiness and also to the most terrible heartaches.
When we do things or say things that hurt our partners, we cause them terrible heartaches, these heartaches are consuming and a very serious burden to bear and could lead to unexpected reactions from them. It doesn't mean they don't love you anymore or that your relationship is doomed but you cannot ignore the fact that your partner feels wounded and vulnerable and worst of all, this feeling is being caused by someone he/she loves. The simple truth is that you have to fix it, you have to help your partner to heal and come back to you. The difficulty of this task varies, depending on what has caused this heartache, but the concept itself is straightforward.
The first step is to apologize, as much as you need to, until your partner knows that you are sorry. This will help your partner understand that you accept your fault and you want to make it right by them. Now, many stop here and assume all will be fine, but I don't agree, A wound doesn't get healed just because you apologize, you need to tend to it.
To start the healing process, sit down with your partner and let them express themselves, tell you how they fell, talking about it with you will really speed up the healing process, but please note, they aren't telling you for telling sake, they are telling you so that you listen and understand their feelings. This will really help in rebuilding any connection that may have been severed. It is then up to you to ensure you avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
As a catalyst to the healing process, you could do something for your partner, give them a gift, take them on a date, do their chores for some time, anything! This communicates to your partner that you care and you really want to make things right.
The last part is not easy, because it requires patience and humility on your part, you have to wait, wait for your partner to make the choice to forgive you and move on, to let go of the negative feelings and move forward. This must not be forced, they have to make the choice to do this, because that is the only way you are sure that the healing is complete.
I hope this makes sense to somebody and I hope it will be of help.
                                                                                                                   T.I.L

A Successful Relationship: Communication

 First, I apologize for not posting for so long, secondly, I'm going to be doing a bunch of posts on "A Successful Relationship." I am not an expert or anything like that and this isn't a blog about relationships, however, I was compelled, so here we are. Today's topic is communication and I just hope everyone who reads this learns something, enjoy!

Communication is very vital to every relationship, it opens doors to everything. You need to be in touch with each others' needs and understand each others' expectations, don't ever make assumptions.
Constantly communicating is one of the most important secrets to a successful relationship. Couples need to open up to each other and be completely comfortable with each other. Talking about everything is a way to make a relationship smooth, it removes all potential awkwardness. Talk about your hopes and dreams, your fears, your likes and dislikes, it helps you both to understand each other and and get closer. Also this can lead to personal enlightenment. Take turns to talk and listen about everything. Communicating like this can help you understand each others' personalities better and even discover parts of each other that you never knew existed.
It is also very important to communicate your needs to each other, don't wait and expect your partner to attempt to guess because nobody is a mind reader. Speak your mind at all times but do it in a non-offending way. Let your partner know how you feel per time, let them know what you need and what you want.
Listening is by far harder than speaking, but it is absolutely necessary, we need to learn to listen to our partners and respond according to what has been communicated to us. Listening means you are willing to accept the feelings and thoughts of your partner, this will make your partner feel emotionally safer with you. Please note that the true art in listening is not in hearing the words but catching the emotions behind them, practice this and as you get better at it, you'll find your partner is more and more willing to express themselves with you
In my opinion, in an argument or discussion about an issue, men should try to listen more, because it's not about solving said issue on the spot, but talking through it and solving it together in the best way possible. 
Hope this was useful to someone...
                                                                                                                                                T.I.L